What Does “Third World” Mean?

Posted on November 12, 2014 by Jett

When thinking about the global community we throw around terms like “third world” or “developing world.” Coming from the first world, I’ve often heard those terms with an undertone of pity. The terms have a distributive property and rather than just being used to categorize a political territory they are used to describe people. And when these terms are distributed to people they usually mean: unhappy, uneducated, dirty, and disadvantaged.

It’s taken me almost 9 months in Paraguay to wrap my head around what “third world” actually means, because the first thing I noticed when coming to Paraguay is that Paraguayans aren’t unhappy, uneducated, and dirty. Actually, Paraguayans are almost annoyingly happy most of the time. The Paraguayan approach is simple: bad things happen, life goes on. It takes only a little time in Asunción to meet several trilingual Paraguayans and it takes no more searching than it does among the regular US population to find a Paraguayan who can have an intellectual conversation about politics, religion, sex, and health. Americans are ragamuffins compared to Paraguayans—unless you iron your underwear and know how to wear every accessory that exists in all the same color at the same time and make it look good, you ain’t got nothing on the average Paraguayan woman.

That leaves disadvantaged. Can people be disadvantaged or is it the system that limits them? My conclusion: “third world” is actually a term to describe a country’s systems and infrastructure. It cannot be used to describe people. Inefficient systems or poor infrastructure do limit opportunities and make life harder. However, people from third world countries are NOT an inferior people—that is to say that if the same person was born in the US rather than Paraguay they are just as well equipped to make a good life there as an American born in America.

So, third world can be used to describe systems and infrastructure. What does that mean in Paraguay? That means that there are communities without running water or there are families that use holes in the ground as toilets. It means that even if a community has running water, the water is liable to not work for a couple hours many days. It means that the power goes out all the time—usually for only a couple of moments or hours. It goes out when it rains. It goes out when the janky wires break or the breaker boxes explode (figuratively) because they weren’t designed to take the voltage they are handling. It goes out when too many people use electricity—like when it’s hell-hot and time for bed.

It means dirt roads are the norm and drainage systems are nonexistent, so when it rains not going to school is a safety precaution. It means that political bosses give jobs and bribes keep people out of the justice system. It means time in school is more loosely associated with learning than perhaps it should be. It means that there are laws and then there are those things that get a person in trouble—the latter is far scarcer than the former. It means that dirt bikes are all over because, well, they’re the only vehicles that can travel on all the roads. It means that people throw or burn their trash because most communities don’t have trash collection. It means that people wait for government handouts because the average person has no access to credit…or even a savings account. It means that even though healthcare is public in Paraguay local clinics don’t have all the medications or specialists the community needs. Some people simply go without because they don’t have the money for bus fare to travel to a medical facility that has what they need.

Third world does not mean helpless people who need to be saved. It means countries whose systems are underequipped to fulfill the needs of their population and because of this the people in those countries don’t benefit from all the modern conveniences our era has to offer. It is not a permanent description. Countries that are third world today are working to shake that status, and they are making progress. The fact that I can complain about my running water not working and that I don’t get Internet in my house means that process has been made in Paraguay. If I had lived in my community not so many years ago, I would have complained about hauling water from a well and not dreamed of Internet.

Ideal Boyfriend, Ideal Girlfriend

Posted on November 10, 2014 by Jett

One of the topics I discussed with my 7^th through 12^th grade classes recently was healthy relationships. During the class I asked my students to describe their ideal boyfriend or girlfriend. The prompt was: “I would like my boyfriend/girlfriend to be…”

After hearing their responses I thought, “This is the stuff that love songs are made of.” I’ve translated a number of their responses because they are too great not to share.

Ideal Girlfriend:

I would like my girlfriend to be pretty and to not be jealous. I would like her to be:

Respectful: She respects the people I love.
Full of smiles: She has a smile everyday and makes you feel good.
Loving: She hugs me and kisses me.
Good: She greets everyone and doesn’t treat others poorly.
Not envious: She isn’t envious of anything or anyone.

I would like my girlfriend to:

Be good and understand me.
Love me in the good and the bad.
Be sincere.
Respect me.

I would like my girlfriend to be sincere so that we can live with love. I would also like her to be nice to my friends and family. Also, she should understand me.

I want a girlfriend who loves me and shows me her love everyday. She should not only focus on my negative side but should strengthen my positive side. She should not make me want to leave her. That would be the ideal!

I would like a girlfriend who is faithful and able to understand all my ideas and goals. At the least, she should be affectionate and, most importantly, I need her to support my decisions. Beauty is not that important; I only want to find a good person who is sincere, knows how to take care of me, appreciates what I have, and that there are no lies between us. I hope that there isn’t deception in our relationship and that we can move forward together.

My girlfriend should be sincere because she should be important and she should be sincere with me. Also, she should be intelligent because she should think about everything that she does. She should be humble, sincere, and have inner beauty. I should be able to understand her and she should understand me. And, most important, she should love me.

I would like my girlfriend to be:

Smart: because I want her to be someone important.
Nice: because I want her to have a good temperament.
Honest: because I don’t want her to lie to me.
Respectful: because I want her to have a good heart.
…however I think such a person doesn’t exist.

I would like my girlfriend to be the women of my life, the hope of my heart. I would like her to be respectful, friendly, loving, and smart. I would like her to love me with all her heart.

My ideal girlfriend:

Is sincere and natural and don’t use a lot of makeup.
Respects me.
Accepts me how I am.
Understands, even when I don’t understand myself.
Is friendly with my family and me.
Is proud of our relationship.

Ideal Boyfriend:

I would like my boyfriend to be a good man that likes to work and is responsible. I would like him to respect me, take of me, and really love me. Most important, I would like him to be honest with me and at the same time respect my space. I would like him to understand me and to be happy to be by my side. (I don’t think this exists, but it is my dream).

I would like my boyfriend to be loving and sweet.

Responsible and hardworking.
Faithful and he shouldn’t hide anything from me.
NOT BE JEALOUS…a mission impossible.
Lastly, I don’t want him to ask me to take a test of love, but I would like him to love me.

I would like my boyfriend to be:

Respectful in many ways and to not teat me badly.
Faithful: I want my boyfriend to really love me and not play with my feelings.
Not have bad thoughts; I want him to confide in me.
With me always and to be happy.

I would like my boyfriend to be:

Detail-oriented: With me and to value the good moments we have together.
Understanding: He should understand me and support me in my moments of need.
Hard working: He should work so he can cover his own expenses and not depend on me.
Neat: He should take care of himself and think about his physical appearance.
Attentive: He should think about everything he does.

I would like my boyfriend to be:

Polite: He should be a courteous person, for example he should be polite when in interacts with my family.
Respectful: I would like him to respect me even when I don’t agree with him. I would like him to respect what I think.
Loving: He should be the person at my side and be tender. I would like us to love each other and for him to feel the same about me as I do about him. He should not play with my feelings.
Honorable: He should be hard working and he should study so he can be an important person in life.

I would like my boyfriend to be:

Understanding: So that I can share my problems with him. It’s important that he is my friend and knows my shortcomings and likes.
Respectful and respect me: He should respect my decisions and always tell me the truth.
Loving: He should treat me with love. He should talk to me calmly and not feel the need to yell.
Friendly: He should be friendly with my family, my friends, and me.
Above all, he should trust me, be sincere. He should tell me what he likes and doesn’t like. He should be fun.

I would like my boyfriend to be respectful, humble, understanding, detail-oriented, charismatic, and loving.

Respectful: When we are together and when we are apart.
Humble: He shouldn’t have an ego and material things don’t have to be important to him.
Understanding: When I share problems with him, he can understand me.
Detail-oriented: He should take note of the little things because it’s the little things that make a relationship have invaluable moments.
Charismatic: He should have a sense of humor and make me smile when I’m angry or in a bad mood.
Loving: He should show me that he loves me with a hug, a look, and his words.

I would like my boyfriend to be humble, respectful, hard working, detail-oriented, loving, smart, and sincere.

Respectful: When we are together and when we are apart.
Hard working: So that in the future we don’t lack anything.
Detail-oriented: He should notice the gifts we have because that is important in a relationship.
Loving: When he is with me he should treat me with love.
Smart: So that we can come out ahead.
Sincere: So that the relationship that we have grows every day and more importantly, so we don’t have problems.

I would like my boyfriend to be:

Intelligent: Because I like to interact with people who are able to understand what we are doing.
Loving: Because I am loving. I would like him to spoil me with nice words and kisses.
Understanding: Because sometimes I need time to do my own things.
Loyal: Because I want a stable relationship without a third person between us.
Handsome: Because I like people who take care of themselves.
Visionary: Because I want him to think about what our life will be like in the future.
Hard Working: Because I don’t like having needs.

I would like my boyfriend to be sincere, loving, faithful, and understanding. Above all, he is always with me in the bad moments and in good moments. I don’t care if he is handsome because beauty isn’t important. What’s important is that he loves me, because love doesn’t have to do with looks. The End.

I would like my boyfriend to be good, respectful, and treat me well; I want him to be with me in the good and the bad; to be loving, honest, and understanding; I want him to love me for who I am.

I would like my boyfriend to never lie to me and to be a good man in every way; I want to like what he does and for him to support me in my decisions. Examples: He isn’t unfaithful in whatever part of the world. He is honest, handsome, good, kind, and loving, etc.

I would like my boyfriend to be:

Respectful: To respect my privacy, my likes, my habits, and to accept my family and friends.
Understanding: He understands that sometimes I can’t do or give him what he wants. Example: To go out with him at night.
Faithful: That he doesn’t cheat on me.
Detail-Oriented: That he does things to show me that he loves me.
Real: That he does not pretend be is something he isn’t.

My boyfriend ideal is:

Respectful: He respects me every moment.
Understanding: He always understands me and when I have a problem he supports me.
Faithful: He is faithful to me every moment.
Detail-Oriented: He always pays attention to the details.
Loving: That every time I am with him he gives me his love.
Beautiful: That he is beautiful in every sense of the word.

I would like me boyfriend to be faithful and to understand my ideas and goals. At least, he should give me affection. More than anything, I need him to support my decisions. He should not seek beauty too much. I just want to find a good person who is sincere and will take care of and appreciate what we have. I hope that he doesn’t deceive me and that our relationship is one that will last.

Let’s Talk Bugs

Posted on November 2, 2014 by Jett

Is this a cockroach or a cricket…or could it be both? How likely is this spider to end up in my bed? Is it worth turning on all the lights, finding my broom, and unlocking the door to sweep out this beetle I just killed or should I just leave it to those little red ants that will eat it by morning?

These are the kinds of questions I ask myself on the daily. “Bugs” has a whole new meaning when you live in the tropics. There are just so many bugs, of all sizes. I’ve never had so many encounters or seen so many different kinds of spiders, beetles, and other creepy crawly things in one place. And, that one place is my apartment. The question is no longer whether there are bugs in my house, but, rather which of those bugs I’m willing to live with and which I will demolish to the best of my ability.

A New Kind of Crowd

Posted on October 31, 2014 by Jett

Perhaps you’ve heard of the term “machismo,” the dictionary definition is “strong or aggressive masculine pride.” It’s often used in Spanish class to describe Latin American culture. It’s usually mentioned along with a comment about how women’s rights in Latin America leave something to be desired.

Nine months in Paraguay and I’ve had the opportunity to experience both these popular Latin American studies topics first hand. But this post isn’t about the catcalls and hanks I get when I walk down the street—after talking to other female volunteers, especially blonds, it seems I’ve been mostly spared on that front.

This post is about the female, teenage students who performed a spectacular skit about decision-making and social pressure in my class and were greeted by an appalling response from their male classmates. And, this is about how those female students thought that response was normal and almost a compliment.

The plot of the skit was this: Boyfriend asks girlfriend to have sex. Girlfriend asks friends for advice and they say, “go for it” because there are no repercussions and he might leave you if you don’t. Little sister overhears the conversation and tells mom. Mom confronts girlfriend, and we learn that girlfriend hasn’t even told her mother she’s dating. Girlfriend sneaks out and has sex. She gets pregnant and when her mom finds out she gets kicked out of the house.

A team of students wrote the skit. When it was time for them to perform the skit they went and changed into their “soccer game best“: Nice sundresses, wedges, tights, tight jeans, and moderately revealing tops. In the school where I teach the students wear uniforms.

As soon as the girls changed and came back into the classroom their male classmates greeted them with catcalls and a litany of comments about how they looked. The girls smiled and posed. Throughout the skit this male commentary didn’t stop. It was as though the two actors playing the girlfriend and boyfriend were actually having sex in the classroom.

Often machismo is a little subtler and I have to think to notice it, but sometimes it is acute. Culture can’t be changed in one-fell-swoop, but I wish those young women didn’t have to live their lives that way.

Kids, everywhere!!!

Posted on October 29, 2014 by Jett

In my community, and all the communities I’ve visited in Paraguay (except Asunción), there are tons of children everywhere I go. It’s a huge change from all the places I’ve previously lived.

I’m not sure why there seem to be so many babies, toddlers, and kids. True, the average family is larger here than in the States, but the average number of children a Paraguayan woman has is less than it once was. Perhaps it has more to do with the number of women who have children at all. From observing my community and others in Paraguay, most women have children; and they have their first child well before they are 30.

It could have something to do with the climate and way of living itself. The line between indoors and outdoors is blurred in Paraguay. People spend a large portion of their days outside of their houses. Many families cook most of their meals outside and use their patios as the living rooms they don’t have. It’s hot here, and few families have AC. Outside, in the shade, is cooler than inside.

Houses tend to be clustered. Most families don’t have large plots, or at least don’t live on large plots. And, houses are often built without a living room or other common room. This encourages people to go outside and makes it feel like the neighborhood is filled with people. A walk down the street requires greeting people sitting in front of almost every house.

Children tend to have more freedom to wonder around in my community than children of the same age might in the States. It’s not that they go far from home without an adult, but rather they run between the houses of their relatives (because families of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins live in the same couple of blocks) which gives the impression that kids are running wild and free.

As soon as children aren’t toddlers anymore they learn how to look after babies and toddlers. There’s no one here who doesn’t know how to hold a baby, and everyone seems comfortable playing with babies. As girls get older, they are given more responsibility and take care of their younger siblings and cousins while their mothers work.

Patience and love for children appears universal, though I’m sure there are exceptions. The idea of “I’m good (or not) with kids” is irrelevant here because children are simply part of daily life.

Fans Are Not

Posted on October 25, 2014 by Jett