Fans are not just machines that move air

They are a breath of fresh air in the heaviest of heat

If you cower in their wake

You might, MIGHT, not sweat so much you have to change your shirt

But, you probably will

Fans are not just machines that move air

They are sound machines

When those neighbors insist on sleeping with bachata piru playing

Or like to blast cumbia and polka at odd hours of the pre-dawn morning

Neutralizers, battles avoided

Fans are not just machines that move air

They are clothes dryers

It’s deadly sunny, except when you need clothes real quick

Then it’s damp and moldy giving everything a musty smell

Fans don’t get rid of the smell but they do evaporate water

Fans are not just machines that move air

They are mosquito protectors

All the mosquitos in my house are assholes, they insist on biting

Luckily their wings are weak, WEAK

Blow fan blow

Fans are not just machines that move air

They are refreshers

Set them up at one side of your house

And they’ll push all the air out the other side

Savior, my little hovel gets stale every time a leave for a couple of hours

Fans are not just machines that move air

They are greater than sliced bread

Make clams seem depressed

Ingenious is what they are

Brilliant. Hope. Essential.