The many teams I work on (of varying sizes) throughout my shift in the emergency department have provided ample opportunity to experience different team leads. And, in recent weeks, I’ve been reminded of a lesson I once taught my Paraguayan students (I taught life skills classes to grades 7-12 as a Peace Corps volunteer in Paraguay for 2 years). The lesson was during our leadership unit and it was on the difference between a leader and a boss.

Lesson

I started my class with the following image:

I defined the differing titles as follows:

Leader

A leader is someone who leads by example. They are skilled, trustworthy, and levelheaded. A leader is confidant with their abilities, but they are willing to change their tactic if any team member has a better idea. A leader gets their hands dirty. A leader reminds you of your strengths and approaches weaknesses as learning opportunities not permanent shortcomings. A leader is willing to have that hard conversation or make the decision no one else wants to make. A leader makes every team member feel like the project belongs to them, not just the leader.

Boss

A boss is someone who leads by giving orders. They think their way is the only way and expect others to follow them. A boss is an expert, but they are not someone you go to when you’re having a problem. A boss is the first to address a shortcoming or mistake and says little when a job is well done. A boss stands above the work, but tells you how you should complete each task. A boss makes all the decisions, but when something goes wrong blames it on the team. A boss expects you to pledge allegiance to their project.

Reflection

It’s not the breadth of knowledge or the level of skill that distinguishes a leader from a boss. They are differentiated by how they approach their colleagues. When I was a teacher, I asked my students to reflect on which type of team lead they’d rather follow and they always picked the leader. I asked them, then, how they were going to be leaders rather than bosses.

“Listen and be kind,” they said.

We could all remember my students’ advice. For some it comes easily while others have to remind themselves to listen and be kind. However, as long as the end is reached, it’s okay if being a leader doesn’t come naturally at first.

When work is slow, the opportunities to dish out compliments are obvious and abundant. Amid the chaos of a high census (lots of tasks all at once) or when faced with a critical patient, it can be harder. Leaders always find a way to lift us. That’s why we follow them. When the going gets tough, leaders bring us together while bosses push us apart.

Choose to be a leader. Your team needs you.