Why do some people always seem to have time for vacation, camping trips, and concerts while others always seem to be working? How do some people function on what seems to be no sleep? What exactly is work-life balance? Is being a workaholic a problem or just one way of giving life meaning?
Some Case Studies
Health care is full of people who work almost around the clock—nights, weekends, and holidays are fair game. But, for example, the shift work of nursing can allow for many days off every 2 weeks. Plenty of nurses I know take advantage of 36-hour, full-time work weeks (broken into 3, 12-hour shifts). A sample biweekly work week is 3 days working, 1 day sleeping, 3 days working and 7 days off. Despite the exhaustingly long shifts, these nurses enjoy 4 more days off every 2 weeks than a person who works a job Monday through Friday.
My American Family
In my immediate family, there are many models of work. Several of my family members are self-employed. They may work every day but they might also take long stretches off. Some days are long; some days are short. My sister is a trainer and fitness queen. While she often works fewer than 40 hours per week, her hours are spread out across every day of the week and at different times of day such that taking even one day off requires scheduling magic. There’s my step-mom who has the stereotypical workaholic, business schedule which is based on an 8-hour slot Monday through Friday. Of course, a few hours are tacked onto each day and she works additional hours over the weekend. In the end, she works something like 80 hours a week even though she’s on paper for 40—and, stepping away for any stretch of time seems impossible.
In Paraguay, holidays are sacred, summers are lazy, and commutes are so long they seem unreal. Except for the man I knew in the Navy and some small business owners, no Paraguayan I met while living there worked during a national holiday. Perhaps that’s different in Asunción (the capital) and in major hospitals (of which there are few) but generally Paraguayans don’t work holidays. Additionally, few people work on Sundays. Almost nobody works past midnight. While many Paraguayans have long commutes to work and work long hours, the number of days off they have in a year dwarfs the number of days off many Americans choose to take.
Paraguay vs US
In Paraguay, family comes first for most people. Most people work to support their family and buy nice things. Most Paraguayans prioritize time off visiting, eating, celebrating, and watching soccer over working endless hours. Most Americans prioritize working. Many Americans bank hundreds of vacation hours that they cash out or lose entirely. Of course, these are stereotypes…but, during my experience living in both countries, the stereotypes of family-first for Paraguay and work-first for the US seemed justified. I’ve often asked myself, “Who has it right?”
The Perfect Balance
The balance between work and other activities isn’t static. The perfect balance, the one that yields the greatest happiness, is unique for each human. Neither the Paraguayan approach nor the American life approach is better, they are just different. Paraguay taught me the importance of downtime while the US emphasizes overtime and constant production. Regardless of who you are, there are times when work should come first and times when family, vacation, rest, or anything else must come first.
Winning the balance comes down to being willing to reflect on your life and to make changes. For example, when one of my friends frequently complains about working too much or is always exhausted, I often ask if it’s time to scale-back or change their work schedule, job, or approach to working. When another friend often talks about being bored at work or not making enough money, my thought is that it’s time for them to invest more effort in professional growth. Is it easy to change things up and move toward something different? No.
It’s hard to reflect on your life and make meaningful changes. What I do to face the challenge is break my life into chapters and then identify what made me happiest and saddest during each chapter. I use what I identified to inform my guesses about what I need to do today to tip the scale more towards happy going forward. I tend to be work-centered (mostly because I love learning and feeling productive). As a result, the life side of my balance always requires more attention and energy than the work side. Knowing this, I put extra effort into “life” to keep my scale level. My scale often dips one way or the other, but I try not to let the off-kilter stretches jar me. Rather, I make small adjustments until I waver around a mix of experience that feels right for the time.