Some of my friends and family have asked how I study so much. Others just give me a funny look, shake their head, and say becoming a doctor is too much school. And, to be honest, I mostly agree.

And that’s were compression socks come in.

When I was studying for my first board exam (aka STEP 1 which is a 7-hour exam that lightly touches most topics in medicine from skin rashes to embryological development) I started wearing compression socks. Every day before sitting at my desk with mate and breakfast and before firing up my computer, I’d spend a few moments pulling on the rainbow or patterned compression socks I’d chosen for the day. I’d never worn compression socks before I started studying for STEP 1 – not while hiking multiple 10-mile plus hikes a week, not while working 10-hour shifts on my feet, and not while training for marathons on city streets.

But studying from well before dawn to well past dark did me in. The truth is that studying all day is terribly grueling in the most passive way imaginable. The body rebels against stillness, and my bodying not only rebelled but went to war. My calves became so tight I could hardly walk. They’d throb at night. They’d throb in the morning. My shoulders and back were full of knots. My hamstrings constricted to a fraction of their normal length. I have a standing desk. It only made my hips tight. And. Yet. The studying had to be done. To help get through the hours, I’d stretched when I could. My workout routine become very consistent because without it I couldn’t concentrate.

The compression socks fixed my calves. I discovered them by accident. My partner wears them at work to avoid varicose veins, and one day I tried on some of his socks. It was a game changer; I could study all day and my legs would be okay. Just okay, but okay was way better than terrible.

It seems a bit dramatic to say it feels like your body is going to turn to stone simply because you sit still too much. “How do you study so much?” family would ask me in the final weeks leading up to my exam. I never exactly knew how to answer. And now I realize why – because studying  in medical school is less about the “how” and more about the “why.”

Why do I study so much?

It comes down to the end. The goal. The reason I bothered to enter medicine at all. It is only knowing where I wish to go that makes studying so much that I must wear compression socks worth it. I didn’t come to medicine because I wanted to study all day. I entered medicine because curing diseases and helping people through sickness is the professional contribution I wish to make to our world. I had plenty of time before starting school to explore many different professions. But, the one that captivated me was medicine. Medicine combines puzzles, science, and true stories. I study so much because every piece of information about symptoms and labs and geography and humans is a tool that might help me understand what is ailing a patient. I don’t study because I like it, I study because I want all the knowledge tools I can fit into my toolbox brain so that when I meet someone’s grandmother, someone’s father, someone’s friend, someone’s brother in a moment when their health is faulting…I know how to help them heal.