The Doctorhood quest is a journey with finite phases.  To reach the next phase you must pass through the hurdles of the previous phase. Like all quests, each phase must end. Now having passed 2 phases, I’ve noticed that the transition between the phases is jarring.

I recently finished my first year of residency, called “intern year.” In the Doctorhood quest, many consider intern year the hardest phase because it’s the time when you begin to practice as a physician and know the least. You are a student one day and then the next day walk into the hospital with your new title of “doctor.” You find yourself with a mountain of responsibilities that you aren’t sure how to manage. It’s a bit of a joke because one day does not make a physician. So, even though you have the “doctor” title starting the first day of intern year, the difference between an intern and a student only begins to emerge as the months drag on. By the end of intern year, you find yourself teaching medical students and realize that you are, in fact, more knowledgeable than you were 12 months prior.

A similar transition exists between intern year and the second year of residency. In my residency program, we even get a new badge declaring us “resident physician” rather than “intern physician.” One day you’re an intern, working under 2-3 layers of senior physicians and the next day you’re a resident with only a very senior physician overseeing your work. As an intern you always have a resident to ask for help. When you’re a resident you’re the one that the interns turn to with questions. Of course, there are people who teach and help you as a resident, but they are more distant and more senior than before. As a resident, you are expected to find answers to many of your questions and you are expected to make many decisions on your own.

On the second day of my second year of residency, a physician who has been teaching residents for years entered the room to lead one of the educational sessions we (residents) have weekly. Before he started his lesson, he acted out strutting down the hall as James Bond does, “Now that you’re all residents you even walk differently. You have that swagger,” he said. We all laughed. A day does not make a physician. A physician is made over years. Today I feel like how I felt during the last days of intern year because the time between today (early on during my second year of residency) and the end of intern year is short. I’ve been questing long enough to trust the process. I know I’ll feel confident as a resident by the end of this year. And, who knows, maybe I do walk the hall a little differently now than I did a year ago. I did, after all, forge intern year and live to tell the tale.